Problems

Okay, I have found a significant drawback to using the Wom-moped as a means to track down and apprehend misguided miscreants. While the Wom-moped does comfortably seat two, the driver and a passenger positioned directly behind the driver sharing the long banana seat, the layout is not ideal for securing scoundrels who may flee the vehicle when stopped at a stop light. Indeed, since I could not leave the Wom-moped blocking traffic at the intersection, but instead had to make a left turn to find a viable location to park before I could engage the villain in a foot chase, he was long since removed from the immediate location. I would like to reach out, however, to the lady in the 2001 Ford Winstar who was directly behind me in the left-hand turn lane. I believe, madam, that your usage of your vehicle’s horn far exceeds the legal allotment for the given situation and not only should you be cited for your moving violation, but also entered into an anger management program.

Had another mishap with the Wombatarang. If you are unfamiliar with this unique and useful crime fighting tool, it is based on the Australian boomerang design. As a Wombat and Australia enthusiast, naturally I chose this tool for my arsenal. But, as a branded superhero, I simply had to make the design my own. So instead of the typical bent piece of wood, I designed mine to look like the head of a wombat with two pointy ears. Unfortunately, Slothum City had been experiencing a week’s worth of weather that I can only describe as a monsoon, so I was unable to test the new design of the Wombatarang, especially since Gladys forbade me from using it in the house after I shattered the rather enormous chandelier positioned over the three story carpeted staircase. So today I saw a jogger trying to flee the scene after running across the grass in Slothum City Park, which has a strict “keep off the grass” regulation. I called out to him but he kept on running away. So I pulled out my trusty Wombatarang and threw it at him. But instead of following an elliptical pattern of hitting him, then returning to me, the Wombatarang veered off to the left, clipped a cyclist (who has nothing to complain about as it was his choice not to wear a helmet) and got lodged into a large oak tree. I tried to free the Wombatarang from the tree by throwing the Wombatling Hook and securing it to a nearby limb, then hoisting myself up into the tree. However, the limb could not hold the weight of such a strong and muscular superhero, so the limb broke off and came to rest across the path. So you may want to avoid the south side of the park until park maintenance can remove the limb.

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