Picking Up the Trash

Have you ever had one of those days when everything goes just right? In crime fighting, those days are rare, I must admit. Because criminals can be super unpredictable. But then there are those days when it all works out. Today I got an urgent call from Commissioner Borden about a break-in in progress. He’d sent Police Chief Leibowitz, really out of protocol, but he wanted me to be there in case the break-in was anything more than ordinary. I got there and I could see a young white male wearing jeans and a black concert T-shirt (I can’t recall the name of the band but they apparently had toured in many U. S. cities) struggling to pick the lock on the front door. I didn’t see Police Chief Leibowitz anywhere in the vicinity, so I knew I had to act and act fast! I pulled out my Wombat-Lasso and flung it around the assailant. I have to say, I am pretty darn skilled at the Wombat-Lasso. I practiced hundreds of times on the La-Z-Boy in my rumpus room, so I was totally prepared. I restrained the assailant and tied him up, securing him to the front porch. Now some people don’t realize that part of being a superhero, is capturing and securing criminals, but then leaving them in a nice little package for the police to discover and take in for all that legal booking and so forth. Superheroes don’t do paperwork. So I left him there and called Police Chief Leibowitz for what superheroes refer to as “picking up the trash.” Cut and dry, easy apprehension. Man, I wish all days were like this.

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