Part of being a superhero is training. While SOME superheroes have, like, “powers,” from government experiments, gamma rays or alien birth, the rest of us who don the cape are not starting with such advantages so we must train and practice in order to elicit fear in our foes. Frankly, I feel like those superheroes are basically on ‘roids and, well, of COURSE they can leap tall buildings with a single bound. Big deal. I still leap tall buildings, but I rely on skills rather than freak juice. But I digress. So a lot of my time is spent in training. I have a state-of-the-art training facility in the Burrow (my secret underground hideout for those who are unfamiliar with the habits of wombats) and spend sometimes up to 45 minutes at a time pushing my body to its limits. Today I was drilling my digging skills. Wombats have large claws which allow them to dig up soil quickly and effortlessly (and, no, the claws are not retractable and made of adamantium). So I have designed a pair of leather gloves with wombat claws to dig. My first trial run with the Wombat-Claws today proved very effective. I was able to dig up a huge part of the front lawn in the matter of hours! One of the holes was almost a foot deep. Gladys, who is my devoted housekeeper but in no way possesses a superior crime fighting mind like mine, can’t fathom the infinite amount of uses the Wombat-Claws have. But the next time a criminal buries his stolen loot from Slothum City First National Bank in a cemetery cleverly disguised as a newly filled grave, Wombat Man will be able to dig it up and retrieve the stolen money!
Okay, so you may have read my last post about apprehending the suspect outside of a residence. As it turns out, I transposed the numbers on the address Commissioner Borden had given me for the home with a break-in in progress. So I was several blocks from the crime scene. It seems I apprehended a teenager who actually lived at the residence and was just arriving home from school. He was trying to open the door, not realizing his mother wasn’t at home and, therefore, the door was locked. To my defense, he never identified himself as a resident of the home, nor did he offer any explanation to me at the time of apprehension what his business was at that location. But I have been encouraged to give an apology here to Brandon and his parents. So, sorry.